“Courage doesn’t always roar. Sometimes courage is the little voice at the end of the day that says I’ll try again tomorrow.”
― Mary Anne Radmacher
Last month, I visited my university to hand in my application at an organization that could launch my dream of becoming a children’s poetry book author. After a month of picturing myself writing more poems and dreaming up ideas for a fundraiser, I checked the announcement and was a little crushed to discover that I didn’t pass.
I was writing poems since I was 10 years old. It was my favorite pastime. I have always loved to express myself with words. I have joined poem-writing contests in high school and there was one time I even won. I also wrote poems for our school paper. I know… I should have taken a writing course in college.
Now that I’m a stay-at-home-mommy to three loveable children, I have the inspiration, the time and some tools to be a children’s poetry book author. What I lack are the education or training and belonging to a community of children’s literature writers. I had hoped that I could get these when I join this organization. I guess God had other plans. And I had no idea what these other plans are.
And all I could see were my shortcomings, doubts and questions. Maybe I really am not good at versifying. Maybe I was mistaken to think that being a children’s book author is a dream God placed in my heart. Maybe I have gotten my life purpose all wrong. Is that what I really wanted? What should I do next? Do I try again, apply again next time? Do I have the courage?
“The brick walls are there for a reason. The brick walls are not there to keep us out. The brick walls are there to give us a chance to show how badly we want something. Because the brick walls are there to stop the people who don’t want it badly enough. They’re there to stop the other people.”
― Randy Pausch, The Last Lecture
I am still on the search for answers. But, while I haven’t arrived at a conclusion yet, I will keep writing. I will look for writing workshops. I will read local children’s books and get to know the Filipino authors. I will get to know my children. I will exercise my imagination more. I have much more to learn.